Big rumor that Sacha Baron Cohen is going to be deported. Obviously immigration watched "The Dictator" 

Red Hot Chili Peppers have a new album.  It'll have 18 songs.  And somehow they'll all sound the same. 

A drunk driving simulator in Elkhart flipped on it's side.  Apparently it was set on "Lindsay Lohan"

And finally, "Rock of Ages" is so bad, if the movie theater showing it was the last place on earth with air conditioning, I still wouldn't go see it!