Kim Kardashian wants to have a baby?!?!?!?!  Does she realize you can't give the baby back after 72 days????

Happy birthday to Friends star Matthew Perry.  He's 43.  So what's Matthew been up to lately?  If you answered "absolutely nothing" you'd be correct.

The ex-boyfriend of Amy Winehouse has been in the hospital as he shockingly overdosed on something.  On the flipside, Amy herself just celebrated one year of being sober. 

Fred Willard's wife says she'll stand by him after his arrest in an adult movie theater.  Well yeah, she doesn't want to sit in front of him...

Happy birthday to Mick Jagger, who's 69 today...in dog years...

Kristen Chenoweth is "doing better every day" after getting knocked on head.  That's good to hear.  Who is she?

Kim Kardashian has now said she's more famous than Jen Aniston, Angelina Jole and Gwyneth Paltrow combined!  Bigger butt, yes.  More famous, no...

Big stink in front of the Jackson family house last night as Jermaine and Janet were getting into it.  Kinda surprising if you ask me.  That family always seemed so normal. 

Saw an accident on my way into work today.  A car ended up in a pond at Clinton and Creighton.  I just wonder when they pulled the car out if they got Amanda Bynes' autograph.

Jennifer Lopez is celebrating a birthday today.  Not only is she an accomplished singer, she's also an accomplished actress.  I'm just gonna throw out some of the blockbusters she's starred in.  Anaconda.  Monster-in-Law.  Gigli...

Guy in Allentown, Pennsylvania was found passed out in his van in the local Walmart parking lot.  When police arrived, they discovered the guy converted his van into a mobile meth lab!  The most surpising thing about this story is it didn't happen close to Ft. Wayne. 

Lindsay Lohan, according to reports, is in talks to star in Scary Movie 5.  Ashley Tisdale is already on board.  Boy, they're pulling out the big guns, aren't they...

People who live next to Susan Boyle say she sings loudly, at all hours of the night.  Just be thankful you don't live next to Ashlee Simpson. 

Someone needs to advise my boss that even though the city does want you to cut back some on water usage, you still are able to shower...

COMMENTARY:  You can't even imagine my excitement when I got a text from my friend Chris saying the Chelsea Handler show was canceled.  I thought "Chelsea Lately" finally got the axe!  Unfortunately, this was old news as Chris was talking about the dreadful Chelsea Handler sitcom that was on NBC this past spring.  So Chelsea Handler lives on on E! much to my chagrin.  You know, you would think after all these years of her doing comedy, she'd be funny...at least once...