Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have reached a settlement in their divorce.  Terms of the settlement include Tom getting custody of daughter Suri....every two weeks...when he's on the mothership...

A North Carolina man barricaded himself in a hotel room and refused to come out until he got pizza...and Paris Hilton!  Well that's one way to get rid of her.

Kelly Osbourne received a black eye on an airplane when the person sitting in front of her leaned her seat back, whacking Kelly in the head.  Disappointed in that person who was sitting in the seat in front of her.  Next time hit her harder!!!!

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have a custody hearing set for the 17th.  I bet there will be more people there than were at the premiere of Rock of Ages...

Things have gotten so bad for Lindsay Lohan even a porn star is denying sleeping with her.  "Yeah, I've banged pretty much everything, but I certainly WOULD NOT touch Lindsay Lohan..."

3 reasons to not go see the new movie Savages.  1)  It stars Taylor Kitsch, who also starred in John Carter and Battleship.  Enough said.  2)  It stars noted movie killer Blake Lively  3)  It stars John Travolta.  That's the holy hell of trifecta's isn't it...

I cracked up when I saw this headline earlier.  "There's a spike in air conditioner sales."  Wonder how many investigative reporters they had to put on that one....

Enjoy your weekend!!!!

Katie Holmes is going to get virtually nothing in her divorce from Tom Cruise because the prenup cuts her out of the fortune.  Basically she'll walk away with what she brought into the marriage.  So what, a couple of Dawson's Creek box sets then???

This past weekend Mariah Carey honored Whitney Houston.  How?  By doing a line of coke???

Rumor has it naked pictures of Carly Rae Jepsen are on the internet.  She denies it.  I just want to say it's not her in those pics.  And how do I know?  Hours upon hours of looking at them...

COMMENTARY:  I absolutely can't stand Alec Baldwin.  His acting is atrocious and his behavior is on the same level.  Well Alex has quit twitter...again.  I love how all these celebs quit twitter.  Basically quitting twitter and facebook is the modern day adult equivalent of running away from home.  We all know you're coming back. 

Just heard Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are getting divorced.  Apparently the mind control drugs finally wore off...

Two more in the Kardashian clan have signed book deals.  This time it's Kendall and Kylie Jenner.  No word on if it's going to be coloring or pop-up.

Celine Dion is being sued by an ex-employee who says he was never paid overtime for 3 years of work.  He also says she forced him to listen to "My Heart Will Go On" over and over...

Kelly Clarkson seems to be in a healthy relationship and all the tabloids are saying marriage, maybe as soon as the fall.  I'm not sure what's going to happen with her songwriting career since most of her music is based on her angst.  I guess we can say farewell to songs like "My Life Would Suck Without You", "Running You Over With My Car" and "I Want You Dead"

COMMENTARY:  Who the heck has time for a commentary, Magic Mike is out this weekend!!!!

Just some quick hits today

Least shocking headline of the day: "KATIE HOLMES FILM BOMBS AT SUNDANCE"

Facebook founder Mark Zuckerburg might name his new dog Snookie. That’s an insult to dogs everywhere.

Jimmy Buffett fell off stage in concert. Hope the health insurance is good in margaritaville…

Kelsey Grammer wants his very own reality show. Too bad the title “Say Yes to the Dress” is already taken.

Some snow covered fun!!!

Reports are in saying Khloe Kardashian is pregant. No surprise, she's looked pregnant for years.

HEADLINE: TOM CRUISE AND KATIE HOLMES REPORTEDLY BOYCOTTING THE OSCARS. Well who’s going to accept the Oscar that "Knight and Day" will most assuredly win??? The story actually went on to add this gem. "Neither Holmes or Cruise are expected to be nominated for any Oscars this year." Substitute “this” with “any” and then you have an accurate statement.

Shakira is back on the market after she and her boyfriend of almost 11 years broke up. It turns out they broke it off last summer, but she just got around to putting it on her blog now. And I thought I was slow in updating my blog sometimes! Seriously though, it is a coincidence the breakup happened at the same time she released that hideously-titled song "Waka Waka"???